I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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