my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
