So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I supernannyed him into submission
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
