the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
my liver is dry heaving
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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