What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
