Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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