Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
