Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
