It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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