He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
