He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
