3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
