Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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