all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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