Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
