I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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