There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
