none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
