i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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