thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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