you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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