That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
