Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
how drunk are you?
Several
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
