you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Fuck appropriateness.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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