Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
