I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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