i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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