its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
