Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
