i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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