ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
