I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
