when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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