I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
