She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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