there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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