I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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