So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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