Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
