i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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