Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
