i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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