you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
