One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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