He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my shit smells like andre
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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