Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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