you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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