I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
