i just had sex bonerless
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
