North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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