And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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