So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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