just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
